An AuDHD perspective on the challenges of time
I have often wondered what lies behind my ‘obsession’ with time and why, as I get older, it seems to disappear faster. I know this is a familiar feeling, but I’ve always sensed that my relationship with time differs.
Before mobile phones made time constantly accessible, forgetting my watch would wreck my entire day. I’m an obsessive clock-watcher, always needing to know the time. I hate being late and will instead arrive 30 minutes early. I struggle with waiting for others to get ready, prefer morning commitments, and feel irrational anxiety around slow walkers. I live with a constant sense that time is running away from me. Sound familiar?
It took time (pardon the pun) to piece together these experiences and recognise their connection to my neurodivergence.
Time Perception and ADHD
Issues with time perception and management are common in neurodivergence, particularly ADHD. The stereotypical examples—missing appointments, always being late, hyper-focusing for hours and forgetting to eat or drink—are just the tip of the iceberg.
Time management struggles stem from executive function challenges, affecting planning, organisation, and task management. Time perception issues, known as time blindness, involve difficulty estimating how long a task will take or gauging the passage of time without a clock. One report suggests that 98% of people with ADHD struggle with time, compared to just 8% of the general population. These challenges can lead to anxiety, hyper-fixation on timekeeping (strict schedules, excessive time-checking), overwhelm, procrastination, or impulsivity.
Strategies for Managing Time Perception and Time Blindness
Several strategies can help:
Visual Aids: Calendars and to-do lists provide a tangible way to track time.
Time Blocking: Allocating specific time slots to tasks can prevent overwhelm, help with attention management, and create space for self-care activities before or after challenging tasks.
Timers and Alerts: These serve as reminders or help maintain focus.
Prioritisation: Identifying the most important tasks and completing them first can prevent decision paralysis.
My Personal Time Struggles and Breakthroughs
While I was aware of my struggles with time and had some strategies in place, I recently realised something more fundamental.
First, I’ve become increasingly aware that due to ADHD-related low dopamine levels, I have limited motivation and energy. To counteract this, I’ve created a structured morning routine that boosts dopamine and doubles as self-care. Suppose my routine—getting up, emptying the dishwasher, feeding Elmo (my cockapoo), swimming for 30 minutes, walking Elmo for 45 minutes, showering, and having breakfast—is disrupted. In that case, I struggle to get anything done. My obsession with morning time isn’t just about punctuality but maximising my most productive window.
Second, I realised my time struggles are both a blessing and a curse. While I’m rarely late and can pick up new skills quickly, my executive dysfunction means I struggle with planning. My biggest PhD challenge has been the overwhelming uncertainty of what to do, when, and how long tasks should take. Breaking tasks into smaller steps and estimating time accurately is a constant battle. I also persistently feel that tasks take me longer than they should. This may be where my guilt around ‘doing nothing’ originates—seeing rest as ‘wasted time’—and why I feel a relentless need to be productive.
The Cost of Hyper-fixation on Time
While researching time issues for this blog, it hit me: my previous attempts at managing time were ineffective. I’ve held unrealistic expectations of what I can achieve, leading to anxiety, overwhelm, and burnout. My hyperfocus on cramming tasks into my day has ironically made time feel even faster and less enjoyable.
People have often told me to ‘slow down.’ When I learned to sea swim as an adult, my coach advised me to slow my strokes, which improved my technique. An academic mentor suggested spending more time planning tasks instead of jumping straight into them. When I get distressed, my breathing speeds up. My brain races ahead faster than I can articulate my thoughts.
The swimming example stuck with me—slower is better. Lately, I’ve been practising mindfulness meditation, which has multiple benefits: improving attention, reducing cortisol (the stress hormone), and regulating emotions. Most importantly, it helps me slow down.
Slowing Down Time with Mindfulness
Mindfulness isn’t about stopping thoughts; it’s about focusing—on breathing, nature, or the present moment. This morning, while walking Elmo, I had an ‘aha’ moment. Instead of checking my watch or worrying about my schedule, I tuned into my senses—the sun was shining (a rarity, especially in Wales!), the air was cold, and the sound of the river, birdsong, and newborn lambs bleating. I immersed myself in the moment. Time passed at the same rate, but it felt like it stood still. Interestingly, I came across the term tachypsychia, a neurodivergent phenomenon where time feels sped up or slowed down. This resonated deeply with a weird sense I often have about time.
Mindfulness isn’t for everyone, and time management strategies vary from person to person. But I’ve realised that I have the power to change my perception of time.
My New Intention: Slowing Down
This year, as part of my pledge to set new intentions, I’ve set an intention to be more mindful of time—not just in how I manage it but in how I experience it. My well-being is directly linked to how I use my time, the demands I place on it, and the intentionality I bring to allowing myself time for self-care, to rest and to just ‘be’. Instead of cramming more into my day, I want to slow down intentionally.
Mindfulness—whether through breathing, sensory awareness, or immersing myself in a task—is the key to calming my Ferrari (racing) brain and escaping the feeling that time is running out.
What strategies work for you to manage time? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
You have been reading a blog post by Gayle Shim at Aupeer. An AuDHD perspective on the challenges of time.
Aupeer is a not for profit, autistic led peer support organisation. Offering online peer support to austistic adults.
Comments