
As we start 2025, it’s been nearly two years since I had the realisation that I am neurodivergent.
The journey to self-acceptance and understanding has only just begun despite my tender age of 51! With realisation has come a cascade of emotions and challenges, and some moments of real ‘autistic joy’ as a respected peer refers to it.
At first, I felt elation that the last piece of the jigsaw had fallen into place and experienced a clarity which made sense of so many of my past experiences. But this turned to frustration, grief and overwhelm. Frustration and anger at myself but also at the world for not realising sooner, grief for what could have been and overwhelm at how to move forward with this new knowledge.
Gradually, what I now understand was the mask I had been wearing so diligently for 50 years was slipping, and I felt a new level of vulnerability. I felt like a baby trapped within an adult, having to relearn all the things I had previously held to be true.
Eighteen months on, I have faced some ongoing challenges coming to terms with the extent of my challenges, and learning to love myself for them. This is the biggest ongoing hurdle I face—having to learn something I never managed in all my years: to be kind to myself.
But I am making progress, albeit slowly. A lightbulb moment came when I joined an autistic-led peer support group, Aupeer. And from the very beginning, I felt I had found my people. I realised that with unconditional acceptance and validation, I could bit by bit let the mask slip and feel free to be authentically myself in a safe space.
The experience of peer support, where even without a diagnosis I was accepted, has been—no understatement—lifechanging. Engaging with my peers has sowed the seed that I am enough, and I deserve to be kind to myself. I’m not broken, I’m not less than, I’m not crazy—I’m just different. And different is ok. Different is more than ok, it’s the best!
I’ve found people that recognise, understand and have experienced many of the same struggles and by sharing our experiences comes support, validation and encouragement. Too often we hear that no support is available, especially for those late-diagnosed. Even when support may be available, those providing the support often do not understand the extent of our struggles. Despite training and qualifications, our experiences cannot be fully understood without first-hand experience.
I was lucky enough to be invited to become a peer support facilitator with Aupeer, and today I co-facilitated my first session. The buzz of being surrounded by peers who just ‘get it’ and who have come together not just for their own wellbeing but to show love and support to others is incredible.
If there is one thing I have learned over the past eighteen months, it's that peer support and particularly the approach of Aupeer, has been fundamental in helping me acknowledge, accept and move on with hope for the future and the person I am.
This year, with the insights and knowledge I have developed over the last 18months, I’m hoping to build on self-care and self-love. I don’t really believe in New Year’s resolutions, but I’m starting this year with new intentions—to be kinder to myself and all that entails. After a challenging Christmas period, the first step is to re-establish my self-care habits and routines that I had experienced success with. I will share some of these strategies in my next post and how I hope to build on these this year to create a sustainable life moving forward.
I hope to continue sharing my journey and insights with you, and that they bring some support and encouragement to others who are going through similar experiences.
This blog post is written by our volunteer Peer Support Facilitator Gayle Shim.

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